It's really hard when you have to come to terms with the fact that some people just don't get it. Some people just don't care. They like to claim that they do but their actions speak other wise. As much as I don't want to care about it or I try to put it aside it really hurts- I hurt for me and I hurt for Micah.
I'm the youngest of four. My oldest brother K is 10 years older, next in line is D he's 9 years older and then there's my sister S who's 7 years older... As you can see I was completely unexpected and totally spoiled
K is a Minister and he gave the eulogy for my Micah's funeral. I don't know if he realizes how much that meant to me... but the other two didn't bother to even make an appearance.
D has always been a bit unbalanced, in other words I didn't expect much from him. So when we spoke and he told me ' I don't do funerals' it just bounced off me. He even went on to make those comments we all know and love 'don't worry you'll have another baby' ' I know how you feel'(this is in reference to him losing two children to the Children’s Aid Society) and my personal favorite ' I guess you can chock it up as a miscarriage'... That comment didn't bounce off me...It's engraved on my heart.
My Sister, my sister... What can I say about my sister??? I have always looked up, admired, respected and trusted my sister and in one moment it's all gone. She didn't come to the funeral to say goodbye to her niece. . She hasn't made any effort to come and see me and I can count on one hand how many times she has called since I lost Micah. She doesn't even know what Micah looked like... I have pictures, footprints and strands of hair I would have loved to show her and she could care less...She's a disappointment and it will never be the same.
Her Daughters birthday was Micah's due date... The day I came out of the hospital she called to let me know she wouldn't be able to attend the funeral because she couldn't afford the travel. We hadn't even fully planned the funeral yet or knew what day it was going to be held on...(Here's the best part) She couldn't afford it because she wanted to buy her a daughter the Nintendo DS for her birthday ... What a b!tch!! What a heartless B!tch...
I have sent her an email of all my bottled up feelings and her reply didn't do much for me...she insulted my baby and me and for that I will never forgive let alone forget.
There are too many lessons to be learnt here... I have been let down by everything I have ever believed in.....God, the world, my body, my family.. I don't think I can take much more of this
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4 comments:
That is outrageous. I am in shock at your family, particularly at your sisters behavior. I hate the fact that it's at times like these we find out just what people are made of. Unfortunately all too often they're not made of what we hoped.
I am so sorry you have had to deal with this on top of your grief for Micah. I used to believe in Karma but now I'm not sure because people who say and do spiteful things seem to sail through life.
Know that you are the bigger person and that you and Micah together will rise above this crap.
((((hugs))))
It makes me so angry to have to deal with this sh*t. I mean, not only do we not get a happy ending (we are grieving and hurt and confused), but we also have to deal with the inane and hurtful reactions of our friends and family. I find myself having to excuse their behaviour, when really, why am I excusing anything? Why do I have to be the good guy? I am tortured by the loss of my son...but the reaction of so many I am close to (and not) tortures me as well. I wish they would just "get" how hurtful they are. I wish they could understand the enormity of our loss and see that they are hurting us even more.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this, Rosalind. So very sorry that your sister can't see what you have lost and is reacting so very poorly when really, you need her most.
I am thinking of you and sending you big hugs. I wish I could do more.
Oh hon! This post gets me angry!! Family is supposed to BE THERE FOR YOU!!!!!
I've experienced this insensitivities with some of whom I had thought were "very close friends" but no family!?!
I"m glad you wrote down your thoughts and sent them to your sister.
Now you know who you can count on , I guess. Wow, this must really sting.
These people have obviously not experienced loss yet....yes I said yet.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with these people who you call family...maybe one day they will learn..
First I wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. I know that does not do much but I just wanted to let you know I have been there. I am so sorry that your family are such rude heartless people. My family is the same way. Please know you are in my thoughts
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