I have never posted a picture of myself or Micah on my blog before but I felt the need to post this one. Everytime I hit another month I take out Micah's box and go through her belongs and pictures and everytime I always stop and look at this one. I don't even remember it being taken..But everytime I look at it I feel so sorry for this woman. Hooked up to all these tubes ..Hair uncombed..Taking in as much as she could of a baby she wanted so much knowing she had a limited time before she had to give her back.
It's just so sad and prove of the unjust world we live in that this Mommy and innocent little baby didn't get to stay together.. I think about everything I had had been through up to this point... Only 48 hours before this this little baby was alive and kicking and now she was gone.. And this photo along with 10 more is all I have left of her and her real existance...hours after this photo was shot I had to give her away knowing I would never see her again and she would be gone from my life forever.
4 months ago and one day, on October the 1st, 2007 my life was change forever by this little girl and it will never ever be the same...
I miss you so much Micah and these last 4 months have been unbearable without you here.I would give anything to turn back time and make this better for us....Mommy loves you so much and I would give up my life to hold you again ...
10 comments:
Oh, hon. I am so touched by this photo; the feelings you had at that moment are palpable. I can physically feel your pain. I don't even know what to say anymore. I'm just so very sorry. XO.
I am so sad for you. I know what it feels like to be in that picture, I was in it exactly one month before you were. I wish I had words for you, words that would tell you it's all going to be okay, but I don't.
I too, am just so very, very sorry.
Oh Rosalind. I am chilled to the bone, looking at your photo. I know.
I am just so, so sorry. ((Hugs))
Your photo summarizes everything there is to say about stillbirth. How sad and lonely this whole thing is, a woman with her baby for those precious few hours.
Like you my eyes were glued. I couldn't take my eyes off J.
I am so sorry Rosalind. Sending you much love C x x x
Rosalind...i'm so sorry. I don't know what to say other than I hate that you're feeling this pain and that this has happened to you...to us. I have a picture similar to yours and wish I had the strength to share it. I have a picture similar to yours. I sat there for the longest trying to lock in my memory all of his precious features, the way he felt. Trying to will life into him.
I am thinking of you and wish things were better.
(((hugs)))
Jen
The photo brings tears to my eyes. You can feel both the love and the pain.
i feel sorry for all those ladies too (all of us)...those women who lived through all those days with dead babies we wanted so so much. it's easier to see "her" as someone else entirely; sometimes i don't even feel like it was really me sitting there in the hospital bed...maybe it was a movie i saw? but the movie was real and it has been filmed over and over and over again. there are so many versions, different, yet the same.
i'm not that far ahead of you, but the fourth month is really very, very bad. i keep hearing the shock wears off and reality very cruelly kicks you in the face- not sure if that's what happens, but it feels like it. take it day by day but let me tell you, every moment sucks @ss.
Rosalind, 4 months ago on October 1st, 2007...I was burying my baby, after losing her a few days earlier.
I can hardly believe that as I stood sobbing at her grave, that you were crying for your little girl.
I am so very sorry.
Rosalind. I'm so truly very sorry. That's really all I can say. Looking at this photo was like looking back in time into a mirror of myself. Again, I'm sorry for the loss of your Micah.
So incredibly touching. It is a beautiful picture of you and Micah! I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.
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