I'm officially back to work today. They ended up giving me Monday and Tuesday off because my login info took long to set up.So now I'm here and it's like I never even left. Everyone is very normal and I don't feel like I'm some 'special project' for everyone to look at..and if everyone's feeling sorry for me they're doing a good job of keeping it to themselves. Normal feels good. In the last 6 months my life has been anything but normal and it feels really good. I'm so happy I made the choice to come back (this could chance by next week). Not to toot my own horn but, I'm so proud of myself..
The other day I was thinking about all the changes I have gone thru grieving Micah.. I was thinking about the shock, the haze, the repeating to myself minute by minute day by day that this has to be a nightmare and this can't be happening to me..I thought about the psychologist I used to talk to and couldn't cry with, the daily darkness, the sleepless nights and the times I couldn't breathe. The issues with my sister and my ex... I remembered the first time I found this blog and decided I wanted to create one too, one where I could express how much I Missed Micah. I'm so grateful to this blog..I just can't believe I have made it to where I am today..Maybe there really is a God
I sincerely believe it's this blog and you ladies that have brought me the comfort I feel today... knowing that my craziness was our craziness, my anger our anger, my sadness, shame , confusion, depression, a wanting for my baby that digs at my soul was everything you felt and feel with me..That someone out there knows exactly how I feel... I thank you for your words of encouragement and the strength to live on even if it had to be without Micah
I know I have been distant these last couple of months...and I'm sorry I haven't been checking up but know that I think of you all all the time...I'm confused as to what I'm going thru right now but I just have to hang on for dear life.
Anyways that's enough out of me..for now
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
Oh I am so happy to hear it has been a good day! I thought it was nice to come back too. Normal IS good sometimes. And you should be proud. This is a big deal, and you've done awesomely.
As for me, I am glad to see you blogging again even if it turns out to only be an occasional thing. I hope you stay healthy and relatively happy.
I'm so happy to see your post, Rosalind. Happy to know you are back at work and feeling positive about it.
I completely agree with your sentiments re: deadbabyland. I think of you and Micah often and I simply wish you happiness. I wish that for all of us. Somehow.
Yay for some semblance of normal! I am glad work went OK for you yesterday and I hope it continues.
I am happy to see your post, I check in daily to see what you are up to. Glad you are back at work and it's been a positive experience.
I too agree with the blogland thing. I think you all in my computer are the ones that bring me sanity.
Take care and remeber we all understand the confusion, etc.
Happy to see you post. I am glad work went well for you. I am glad for the blogland too..it's been a big help.
I hope being back at work makes you feel even better as the days go by.
It is such a long and unpredictable road, this grief and everyone has to do it their own way. Sounds like you have found one that works for you.
You know no matter what, you have all of us here, always.
I am so glad that you are trying to get back in to a " normal" routine. I'm so proud of you. You've come such a long way! I wish you the best of luck.
As well as the others I totally agree with the deadbabyland being your only sanity. We are the only ones that truly know how one another feel. Good to have you back
I'm glad to see you posting. :)
Take care of yourself and don't let work stress you out too much!
Hope you're doing OK Rosalind and work is still providing you with the groove x
Post a Comment